I remember so vividly the first time I realised it was OK TO LOVE MYSELF!  I was on my way back from a workshop in London, enjoying a proper cup of Yorkshire tea and the peace and quiet of the mid-morning train to Leeds.

 

I love travelling by train so I can sit and write in my journal.  I was exploring some very strange feelings emanating from my chest.  These feelings were so unfamiliar that I felt quite breathless.  Yes, I’d had a wonderful weekend of personal growth shared with my beautiful best friend Gill, but I sensed there was more to it than that.  I began to get curious about these unusual bodily sensations (a new thing for me back then).  Warm bubbles rising up in my chest is the only way I can describe it to you now.  I took some deep breaths and allowed myself to feel it welling up in me.  It was like I was being filled up with joy and happiness.

 

“I think I love myself”, I said very quietly and timidly in my head (I definitely did not want anyone else to hear me)!   And I dared to stay with that idea.  Tears began to well up in my eyes and slowly fall down my cheeks and I began to feel gratitude and a feeling of expansion.  It was beautiful.

 

Finally, all the inner work was paying off as I truly felt connected to myself, the real me underneath the layers of shit (excuse the language but there really is no other way to say it)!  I was finding out who I was in there.  I was daring to believe that I was OK – just as I was.  A middle-aged, overweight woman who had learned to hate herself and spoke with a thick Yorkshire accent.  Looking back now, I am certain this was a pivotal moment in my journey of healing, so it is no wonder that I want that for other people.

 

I love deep conversations about feelings, the universe and the meaning of life.  I help people peel back the layers of protection and find out who they are underneath all that shit.  I help people learn that they are not their body, their name or their job.  I help people learn to love who they are, and I wait for them to start describing this strange warm feeling arising in their chest.  And it is magnificent.  That is why I do what I do.

 

 

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