If you’d have asked me that 5 years ago, I’d have stared back at you all confused and said, “don’t be daft!”. But a lot has changed for me over the last few years, I’ve been on a huge journey of self-discovery and learning to feel again.
Last week, something happened that made me realise just how far I have come. This day was different, this day I knew that all that work had paid off, because I practiced the art of feeling.
I had a terrible pulling sensation in my gut. It felt like a big ball dragging down my stomach. I stopped to tune in, what could I actually feel? It was a mixture of anxiety, frustration, fear and some anger. 😦 Sounds horrible I hear you say, and you’d be right. It was. Surely, something terrible must have happened to cause that!
Actually, all that had happened was that I’d spilled something on the worktop of the holiday apartment we were renting. I thought it was going to leave a stain and I was upset. How crazy is that? That such a small thing could cause me such big emotions?
Many of us have learned to brush off emotions like this. A few years ago, I definitely would have brushed it off, ignored and numbed that feeling out, by getting angry or sticking my head in the sand. That used to be my go-to way of dealing with stuff and maybe you have some version of that too? You’re not alone.
But the thing is, as Brené Brown famously said - “when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones.”
So I sat with the feeling and felt into it. I stopped and noticed, breathing into the sensation and got curious. I wonder what this is all about? I wonder what this feeling had to say?
I listened. Sinking into the feeling and allowing it to be, I realised it was very familiar. So often the emotions that seem so familiar are echoes from the past, so I asked myself:
“how old do I feel right now?” ......about 8 came the reply.
“Ah, What are you worried about?” ....... I’m worried that I’m in trouble and someone is going to shout at me.
Now we were getting somewhere.....
“What do you need?”.........I need a hug and some help.
I turned to my husband and in a small voice I said:
“will you help me love, this is really upsetting me”.
My higher wisdom told me to ask for some help and reminded me that I don’t have to do everything by myself. A big big lesson for me. What a different outcome to my old way of numbing and living in my head. The moment we begin accepting and feeling into our feelings, is the beginning of a real journey towards healing.
💜💛💚💙 If you want to begin your journey towards healing and would like some 1-2-1 support, message me now to book in for a free 'LOVE YOUR FEELINGS DISCOVERY CALL. A whole session just for you 💜💛💚💙

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